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The Bride Wore Black

Updated: Jan 6, 2019

I have been taking a break from social media lately. The political cyber war isn't good for my soul. But when I finally returned to Facebook the other day, it was not a political post or memes that caught my attention. It was this…



This is my friend Teri on her wedding day. First of all, I had no idea she was even getting married. Teri is one of my soul sisters. Soul sisters are uniquely special friends. They are the ones I can trust with my life. They are the ones that have been there for me in a moments notice, if just on the other end of the phone, and as important, they are the friends who we can go for months or even years with out conversing, and then pick right up where we were, as if no time had passed. So it is with Teri.

I last saw Teri, catching up over lunch at Topps Diner, when she had returned for a visit after moving out of state with her man. She told me about her new life, being in love, and radiated joy. I was truly happy for her. Honestly, she had shone a dim light of hope that it is possible to move on and find love after years of uncertainty and turmoil. Without sharing the personal details of her life, trust me when I say, this is a woman who is incredibly resilient. She has endured more hardship and “it could only happen to me” bullshit than anyone I have even met. She has always been an inspiration by her words, and more so by example. Once again, she has has not disappointed.

Let me explain.

A few years ago I attended the 2nd wedding of another soul sister. Another beautiful, resilient woman who more than deserved this wonderful new life. The days events were magical. It began with a morning wedding. The bride was stunning in the ivory dress that I had gone with her to pick out. An intimate family lunch followed, and the day ended with a grand ball. The Bride and Groom are both incredible dancers. Being it is how they met, they appropriately treated their guests to the most beautifully choreographed first dance I have ever witnessed. They danced flawlessly to Etta James singing, At Last. It was by all accounts, a fairytale. Although I was very happy for my friend, in no way did I see myself ever being a bride again. The very thought of it was unsettling. I left the ball and went home to the love of my life, my little dog Mala. Still in my gown, I took her for a walk, ending up on the patio of the neighborhood bar swilling beers with the locals, pooch in lap.

After years in a turmoil riddled marriage and an extremely challenging divorce, it is no secret that I have vowed never to get married again. Of course I am constantly reminded “Never say never”. But I just cannot picture it. I cannot see myself actually getting married. Besides, the fact that I look terrible in shades of white, literally, I cannot picture it. Until now…

As I look at this picture of my soul sister, Teri, radiantly joyful and beaming in love, somewhere from deep inside I hear a little voice say “I want to get married in a black dress!” Words I did not consciously conjure. Words that vibrate and shake me. Something has shifted.

No, I am not in any hurry to whip up a partner just to wear the threads. But suddenly I am seeing a potential that I had not allowed myself to see until now. Suddenly I have been empowered by my soul sister who had the courage to keep moving forward, and look stunningly radical doing it. If she had chosen to wear any other color dress, I would be equally as happy for her, but I don’t suppose I would have experienced this shift. No, I still cannot see myself getting married, but I can see myself in the dress, and It’s all because the Bride wore black!

~ Be Empowered by something radical! ~

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